RANDOM JOTTINGS

It is 7 am and have been awake since 5 am so thought Elaine get the laptop out and do your Wimbers report. People ask me when I am going to do my yearly Rant so here goes, though my ranting will be muted somewhat as most of the time there has been nothing to get steamed up about. But we will see…

I have to say now that yesterday I broke my own personal record and found I had been watching tennis for nine hours. Yes, NINE hours. I say it with no shame at all. During that time I did other things, got rid of a batch of ironing, and also spent the entire afternoon sorting out and arranging my stamp collection which I am bunging in an auction in a week or so. I am having a Spark Joy week and have box loads of china and stuff ready to go as well. Just had enough of clutter in my life.

Right back to Wimbers.  I entered the ballot this year and came home from Australia to find I had two tickets YAY but because I had not replied, being at the Great Barrier Reef was the reason, they were passed on to somebody else. Gritted teeth and lots of swearing through. Then a few weeks later a friend of mine who had applied for some on my behalf received two. Shock. On checking I discovered they were for ladies quarter finals day and I am sorry, but with the best will in the world, I am not paying out £120 to listen to a shriek fest so I passed on those. I am hoping that next year I might strike lucky again. Incidentally, the tickets I missed were for the men's semi-final day.  Yes I know….

First up the weather so far has been wonderful. It is a glorious sight to see the grass tennis courts bathed in sunlight. Many years ago when I used to attend I well remember being on the Centre Court in the evening with the sun going down watching a men's doubles or a mixed doubles and loving every minute. It is a great place to be.

The seeds have been going out left, right and centre. First match I watched was Wawrinka v Dimitrov. A good match on paper and as I like both players very much, was sorry to see this was a first round clash. Saw Dimitrov the other week at Queens when Djokovic demolished him – he is going through a bad patch it seems – and the same thing happened here. Of course, it probably did not help that most of the crowd were well behind Stan the Man. It is nothing personal, the Brits always like a Plucky Player who has fought back from injury etc, but it mustn't have helped Grigor very much who trudged off a depressed looking figure.

Cilic went out yesterday, he won Queen's and was looking good, but lost to an Argentinian who nobody had ever heard of (they have now) and even I cannot remember his name at the moment. Sad to see as I have rather warmed to Cilic in the last year now he seems to have lightened up a bit and not be so permanently doleful. He slipped and fell over on the grass when it rained (yes they had some rain the other day, none of it reached me) and then lost the set when he was cruising to a win. That seemed to be the turning point as he became wracked with nerves after that. When questioned about this at the obligatory press conference, he refused to blame Wimbledon officials saying that 'both of us discussed it with the umpires and thought we would give it a go'. Classy act and nice man.

Sharapova aka Shriekarova has gone for which we must be thankful. The noise she makes is appalling and I am staggered that she has never been penalised for it. It is pure gamesmanship as there is nary a squeak out of her on the practice courts. One of the newspapers pointed out that since she came off Meldinium, or whatever it is called, which she was taking for her 'heart problem' she has failed to win anything. The point was made that she obviously cannot win without it and that perhaps some of her earlier successes and titles are, therefore, doubtful.  I am glad to see the back of her. I have always found her arrogant attitude pretty repellant and I gather she is the least liked player in the locker room which is really rather sad when you think about it.

Muguruza, the defending champion, is now out. I like her tennis, she is lovely and charming and seems a nice person but, again, the screaming is awful so I cannot watch her. I can put the mute button on but without the sound the whole game loses so I just do not watch.

Johanna Konta – I am saying nothing

Heather Watson – I am saying nothing

Wawrinka only survived one round and then lost in straight sets to a minute Italian I have only seen play once, but he was relentless and had superb ground strokes. Because he is small he uses a huge racquet to extend his reach and it all looked a bit weird.  I was sorry to see Stan go, he is very popular and always seems to be in the shadow of That Man.

Yesterday I watched a match which, on paper, looked a joy. Feliciano Lopez v Del Potro. Now as most of you may know I admire Feliciano enormously for his backhand and his ground strokes (as you can see from the attached picture and please do not leave comments about me drooling and accusing me of sexism, it has happened and I do not care) but I also adore Delpo who seems to be the nicest man on the planet and who has fought back from the most appalling injuries. He is now No 5 in the world after about three years out with wrist injuries and everyone loves him. He came out and wiped Feliciano off the court. OK Feliciano was having a bad day that was clear from the start, but it was exacerbated by the simply staggering play of Delpo. He did not lose a point on his serve for a set and a half and was untouchable. I am hoping that he continues on in this vein as the Two I Dislike the Most are still here – the Smugmeister and the Twitcher and I want somebody, anybody, to knock them out of the tournament.

As the final of the world Cup clashes with the Men's final and let us hope and pray that England are in it (well, we can dream after this week though it may be dashed by Saturday evening) I know what I will watch if these two are facing off at the net. And Yes, I know I go on about them and yes I know they are both superb players but I simply cannot tolerate them. Nadal was warned for his time wasting yesterday, about bloody time but he just ignores it. Rog descended in a golden chariot to defend his title last week. And that is what it felt like. Sue Barker in full gush mode and Rog walking onto Centre Court regally waving with minions scurrying about. I found myself looking for the red carpet and waiting for the Pope to appear to canonise him on the spot…..

Seems I am getting into a rant after all. I have tried hard not to but then yesterday we had the obligatory Andrew Castle shriek 'Oh look there is Pippa' and he got frightfully excited. Pass the sick bag.

I am writing this on Friday and tomorrow we have the usual introducing of all the 'personalities' in the Royal Box. One year we had the Beckhams and though David grinned and smiled and had a great time, Mrs sat with a permanent scowl on her face the entire afternoon and barely reacted to a thing, ditto Anna Wintour. I get so enraged with this. If you don't bloody want to be there GIVE ME YOUR TICKET YOUR MISERABLE COW.

Enough. Too early in the day. Elaine go and put kettle on and shut up….