RANDOM JOTTINGS

No theme this week, thank goodness but next week is Halloween so heaven knows what Russell Grant (who MUST stay in) will do.

First up, will somebody sack Tess's stylist? She wore the most ghastly frock I have ever seen – reminded me of a sixties sofa, all purple with slashes and blobs and utterly DIRE.   Bruce was as unfunny as usual, at least I assume he was as I muted him most of the time as, much though I love him, I am now finding him increasingly embarrassing.

First up, Jason and Kristina doing the paso doble.  Stupid little film before the dance showing Jason getting into the mood by prancing down the aisles of Lidl with a silly moustache on and saying Buenos Noches to Kristina when she makes a phone call in the MORNING to see where he is. Total waste of time these crappy fillers and if they dropped them I reckon the show would come in 15 minutes less which would be a blessing really.  Not Jason's finest week, nothing spectacular but he said 'next week is a new week'.  Don't be previous sunshine you have to be voted back first.

James and Alex – Rhumba. Alex has to be sexy for this dance so they put her in a navy blue fishnet cat suit with very little boob support seemed to me. Craig said it was 'clunky and sexless' and as always, he is on the money.  James tried to do a Brendon and got a bit lippy but it really was a bit naff.  She has zilch personality.

Rory and Erin – cha cha cha.  Rory obviously hugely embarrassed by the whole thing and found the hip rotation all a bit much but, in Len's parlance, he 'gave it a go' and has great charm and hope he will go through.

Audley and Natalie – foxtrot.   Rather sweet and not bad for a man with feet the size of a canoe. Cannot see him lasting much longer though he is a real sweetie.

Nancy and Anton – paso doble. Well what can one say?  If you thought Widdy was dire I can tell you now that compared to Nancy she was Margot Fonteyn.  I have come to the conclusion, along with the rest of the nation, that this woman is barking mad and so full of herself she cannot see how awful she is.  She actually said that she thought last week's tango was 'good and it went well'. This time Anton spent most of his time throwing her around and dancing with fantastic grace and elegance as always and at the end nearly dropped her on her head. We were all willing him to do so. He held her there far too long, think he was getting his own back on the hell she puts him through. In front of the judges she never topped yakking and arguing, I fear rotten tomatoes will be thrown next week.   When the lifts were mentioned Anton said it 'was all a bit of a chuck love to be honest'. For heaven's sake SOMEBODY GIVE HIM A DECENT PARTNER.   Please please be gone Nancy. Car crash TV.

Lulu and Brendon – samba. Lulu LURVES the Samba, thinks she has finally found her rhythm. She was wrong, she hadn't and I really feel somebody needs to take her to one side to tell her that poncing around as if she was  on stage with Take That is not going to cut the mustard and she is not really as good as she thinks she is.  Brendon did his usual lippy bit a la James this week and James then barracked from the balcony and Len got lippy with him as well. All good clean fun.

Holly and Artem – waltz.  As Craig would say dull, dull, dull. Total lack of chemistry between these two and she looks disinterested most of the time.

Chelsey and Pasha – quick step. At last! A stunning performance, huge style and vivacity and she really is turning into a great little dancer.

Harry and Aliona – lovely waltz but Aliona's choreography will do for her partner as it has done in years past.  She mucks about too much, but despite this Harry danced beautifully and is really the strongest title contender yet.   Alesha gave him a 10 which was plain daft this early in the competition but she does get a bit overexcited at times.

Anita and Robin – American Smooth.  Not quite as smooth as I would like but Anita has such an endearing quality and she and Robin are so good together. I get the feeling he is a lovely bloke and he supports and encourages her and the public warm towards them. Delightful.

Robbie and Ola – Jive.   The blonde hair, the teeth all too dazzling. Technically not particularly spot on but he is really taking to this dancing lark and giving it his all and it was great.  Audience and public loving him as well.

Russell and Flavia – Tango.   Last week Craig said Russell should adopt a more 'masculine approach' so this week Russell ended up in bed with a teddy bear. Brought the house down as usual, audience simply adored it as did the judges. Bruno said it was 'insane' but he loved it.  Afterwards when the scores were being announced Flavia and he and the other dancers there were in absolute hysterics over something or other and the feeling of love and warmth surrounding Russell was palpable. He is rapidly turning into a National Treasure and I adore him.

Not a brilliant show this week. A few too many sub-standard performances I feel and a lot of argy bargy with the judges. As always, Craig is the only one who marks correctly and makes constructive comments, Bruno must be on a bonus for the number of times he jumps out of his chair and waves his arms about, Alesha pretty useless as always and Len seems to be addicted to seVEN as he gave it to nearly everyone tonight.

I am now off to get my supper while the BBC are merrily filming the results show. Tess will change her frock, thank goodness, Bruce will go home, thank goodness, the audience will be moved around so we don't see the same faces on the cameras, Alesha will change her dress and take her hair out of her bun, in short we will all pretend tomorrow night that it is all a huge surprise and was filmed on a Sunday. There is no tension at all in the wait as I will log onto Twitter later and find out who went as it is always leaked.

But Oh how I love this show….