RANDOM JOTTINGS


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Yes I do.  I once wrote an article on Guilty Pleasures and it was all about Mills & Boon and yet I now think this was a misnomer and I don't feel any guilt at all about curling up on the sofa and passing an hour or two with a M&B.   The popularity of these books and their sheer volume of titles never fails to amaze.  Very easy to sneer at these stories (I have done so in the past) but their phenomenal success over the last 60 years and the continuing sales figures must be the source of envy to many a publishing house.

The joy of these books is their inevitability.  Boy meets girl, they fall in love, misunderstanding occurs, boy and girl separate, misunderstanding cleared up after period of heartbreak and all ends happily. Goes without saying, naturally, that they hated each other on first sight as well.  This storyline is timeless, think Jane Eyre, think Pride and Prejudice which surely must be THE original Mills & Boon with its alpha male hero and feisty heroine.

There are certain criteria to be borne in mind when reading an M&B.  Never, but never, trust a red haired man, he is usually weak and ineffective.  Should the hero have red hair, it will be russet with gold streaks, never plain red.  On the whole my impression is that fair haired men seem to suffer pretty badly too, being weak and usually treacherous.  And beware if they are called Derek, he is always to be avoided.

The hero is tall and dark.  Not conventionally handsome but fascinating and sexy with a hawk like nose and high cheekbones.  He is slim hipped and wears his clothes with a rangy grace and is particularly attractive in chinos and a linen jacket.  His names is short and strong – Jed or Brett, never Keith or Kevin.  He is successful in what he does and over the last two years Mills & Boon have become obsessed Geo with millionaires and are now producing titles along the lines of The Greek  Millionaire's Mistress and The Tycoon's Virgin Wife which I think are really rather clumsy and unappealing. 

Nowadays, most heroines are strong willed woman who hold down good jobs in a male environment. They are always glamorous, slim and elegant, but whether they run a team or a hedge fund are always happy to abandon this when they meet Alpha Male and sink quivering into his arms by the final page.  In M&B feminism only goes so far….

Sex now plays a very graphic part in these novels.  Some of the descriptions could easily win the Bad Sex Award every year for some of the more lurid passages.  When I first started reading them some thirty years ago now, Women's Lib was still very much in its early stages, women knew their place and were virgins until they married (only in these pages I hasten to add). If there was any sex at all it was hinted at and the old fashioned row of *********** was employed at the end of a chapter so you could guess what was going on.

It is still easy to scoff at M&B and look down upon their stable of authors, yet how many writers could produce a book every two months as regular as clockwork?  Not many I would think.  One of their writers, Betty Neels, was producing a book every twelve weeks or so right up to her death a couple of years ago at the age of 90+. Formulaic they most definitely are, but there are some pretty good writers lurking in their who will probably never be taken seriously and remain categoriesed as Writers of Romantic Fiction and despised by the glitterati for the rest of their days.

I mentioned the latest trend in having Billionaire of Tycoon or Millionaire in most of the titles we see now.  I find these very off putting but apparently they sell in  droves and are hugely popular so what do I know?  They have also jumped onto the Twilight bandwagon and now have Vampire romances as well, to sit alongside their Medical section (handsome doctors marry pretty nurses), their Regency romances and many other genres that they now produce.   When I first started reading these back in the 1970s, picked one up in a charity shop and have never looked back, they were so pure and so naive and the attitude Voyage towards women would make your hair curl.  I recently read one such vintage book by Kay Thorpe called Not Wanted on Voyage which has been doing the rounds of my reading group and it recently arrived through my letter box all the way from the States.  I make it quite clear now that we are reading this book in a spirit of total hilarity as the story line is really unbelievable.  

We start off with a young woman doctor who has left her last job (she has fallen in love with a married man and is fleeing temptation) and takes the post of a ship's doctor on board a cruise ship.   Please bear in mind that this doctor has presumably studied in medicine for several years, is not a teenager and one assumes is intelligent.  So what does she do?  She turns up late at night to take up her post, it is dark and foggy when she arrives at the docks and can only catch a glimpse of part of the name of the ship and on board she goes.  It appears a doctor is expected but the crew are surprised to see a woman as the captain is a woman hater.  Ok I can see you sniggering already and saying I know what is going to happen and you would be right. BUT there is a twist.   No surprise to find out next morning that she has boarded the wrong ship and this is not discovered until she is out at sea. And here is the twist – she is not aboard a cruise ship, she is on board a whaling ship. Yep that's right – a whaling ship.   OK, now you would have thought when boarding such a vessel that the lack of amenities, the lack of lights, bars, dancing and merriment, let alone sailors in uniform would have made her stop and think.  I don't suppose a whaling ship has much in the way of ship board entertainment and, last but not least, surely the SMELL would have given it away?

This book is quite quite wonderful but also so politically incorrect is is hard to believe.  We are given a pretty detailed account of actually catching a whale which I cannot imagine would pass muster in 2010 and everyone, including our heroine, seem to light up a fag at the drop of a, well, match.  In the end of course she is clasped to the captain's manly chest after she has demonstrated how wonderful and courageous she is by being swung across to another ship to aid an injured member of the crew and all the time a storm is raging and the seas are churning away beneath her.

The whole thing is simply GLORIOUS.

But we must not forget that when Mills & Boon started out they published school text books and other learned tomes for many years and were the publishers of Jack London (Call of the Wild) before turning to romance when they discovered they were onto a winner.

Not many people know that…………

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20 responses to “I Love Mills and Boon!”

  1. Romance Books Avatar

    What’s wrong with a light, fun read, M&B or otherwise? They’re kind of a fun romp and a good distraction… but they certainly keep your brain more active than TV.

  2. Julie Avatar

    Elaine, I remember watching an M&B editor on TV talking about the books and she said that the Modern line is their biggest seller and books with millionaire and mistress tend to fly off the shelves, so maybe that’s why? The Cherish and Medical lines are probably more grounded in reality and quite similiar in tone to writers like Catherine George.
    Speaking of Mills and Boon, I spent a very enjoyable Sunday curled up with a book from their historical line: Joanna Maitland’s The Earl’s Mistletoe Bride, which was an excellent Regency and one I highly recommend!

  3. Elaine Simpson-Long Avatar

    Oooh all these Mills and Boonites coming out of the woodwork! Wonderful”
    Juie – thanks for suggestions – yes I enjoyed the Pennington series, real stories about real people, believable and well written. As I said she has now had to resort to the Millionaire bit. What is this obsession with them?

  4. Julie Avatar

    Elaine, I do like Catherine George as well. I really enjoy her Pennington series. You might like Helen Brooks, Susanne James and Carole Mortimer in M&B Modern who write in a similar style to Catherine George.
    You might also like the Cherish line. Liz Fielding, Jessica Hart, Nina Harrington, Fiona Harper and Marion Lennox, in particular, are wonderful.

  5. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    ‘Virgins’, try one for free at http://www.tryharlequin.com/

  6. Elaine Simpson-Long Avatar

    Simon – is your friend a regular M&B author? do let me know. And yes I think the older ones are better. The latest ones are all bling and glitz whereas the earlier ones did have a bit more substance to them. My favourites were always Mary Burchell, a lot of hr stories had an opera background, and I do like reading Catherine George. Sadly, she has had to start ‘Billionairing’ as well

  7. Simon (Savidge Reads) Avatar

    Oh and I meant to say that people can be really snobby about these books and when you see how many you sell it makes so called ‘bestsellers’ look like they sell nothing.

  8. Simon (Savidge Reads) Avatar

    Wonderful post Elaine. I am not a Mills and Boon fan as I have yet to read one but the gauntlet has been thrown down for me by my friend who is currently writing one. She does say that the old ones are the best ones.

  9. Elaine Simpson-Long Avatar

    Sheila – I think you will find they are under the Harlequin imprint in the USA. They do very well there also
    Thank you for all the comments. I have not been well the last couple of days so I have a couple of charity shop M&Bs waiting for me today all ready to join me on the sofa.

  10. Sheila Beaumont Avatar
    Sheila Beaumont

    I haven’t read any Mills & Boon books. Perhaps they’re not as well known here in the States. I looked them up on Amazon.com and found there are a lot of them available as free ebooks on Kindle. So maybe I’ll try a couple. I couldn’t find the titles you mention in your post, and I have no idea which ones are better written, so I guess I’ll just pick a couple at random. I noticed that there are quite a number of them with “Billionaire” or “Millionaire” in the title!

  11. Mystica Avatar

    I loved M&B when I was a teenager and devoured them. As you say simple storyline happily ever after. sometimes one needs that.

  12. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    I knew you’d enjoy Not Wanted, Elaine!

  13. Juxtabook Avatar

    I have one Mills & Boon in stock – a non-fiction item on making lampshades. I had not idea they did such books till I acquired it!

  14. Julie Avatar

    Elaine, I love Mills and Boon and am not ashamed about it! I’ve been reading the books for years and years and after a hard day’s work there’s nothing quite like shutting the world out with an M&B!
    Like every other genre, there are some excellent writers, some good writers and some not so good writers. It’s pure escapism and the world would be much poorer without them IMO!

  15. Jo Avatar

    What a lovely post about M&B.
    I have never picked one up and always think that I would not enjoy them. I confess I do not think I would go out and buy one, but if I come across any in a charity shop then I think I might just investigate.
    Oh to be able to write a book let alone one every 12 weeks! How wonderful.

  16. Diney Costeloe Avatar

    My father was called Derek…and he had fair hair!!!

  17. Margaret Powling Avatar
    Margaret Powling

    I confess to never having read a Mills & Boon, but I do have three titles from the 1920s, hardback editions, and they are reminisences of an antiques’ dealer, nothing at all about romance, regency or otherwise! However, I do admire people who can write this kind of formulaic story … but then, a lot of writers who are best sellers and who produce a novel a year write to a formula – you simply change the names of the hero and heroine, change their occupations, change the location, have a misunderstanding between them which is eventualy resolved, and bingo, another romance hits the bookstalls. Yes, this is simplistic and some might say, “Well, if it’s as easy as that why aren’t you writing a book a year and earning mega bucks?” I don’t say it’s easy, but when it boils down to it, romances are remarkably very similar.

  18. Tabitha Avatar
    Tabitha

    I laughed all the way through reading this post – yes I love Mills and Boon too and still have a handful of the very first I read back in the late 70s when I was a teenager and yes things were quite different then. I haven’t read one in a very long time now but that might have to change. :-) Tabitha.

  19. Liz F Avatar
    Liz F

    I knew that they had published text books but I didn’t know about the Jack London connection.
    My mum and gran were both keen readers of Mills and Boon (although my mum also enjoyed some very violent war books too!)but I have never been able to make it through one despite a number of attempts and it’s the same with Barbara Cartland’s books too.
    I know that they are still hugely popular as when I worked for a book shop for a couple of years (it fitted in with school hours) we used to get shipments of all the latest titles which we had to parcel up for customers who had them on order every month.
    We also sold a range of ‘top shelf’ books with very dubious covers (leather, suspenders and whips were frequently featured), that seemed to be bought solely by middle aged men and none of us liked serving the man with a greasy comb-over who had too-long nails and khaki fingerless gloves! Just thinking about it makes me shudder!

  20. Harriet Avatar

    Some years ago I decided to try writing an M&B novel and did indeed do what they require for a submission — three complete chapters and a synopsis of the rest (Love in Ruins, it was called, set on an archeological dig in Greece if I remember right). It was rejected, though with a quite complimentary letter, and I’ve never tried again. I must admit I was doing it purely for the money, but my research led me to read a great many of their novels and I really enjoyed them, much in the spirit you describe here. Haven’t read one for years but I certainly would if one happened to come my way. Good for you speaking up for them — nice review!

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