At this time of year when the sun is shining, schools are breaking up and everyone heading off on holiday,
the newspapers break out in a rash of articles on Beach Reading wherein
the Great and the Good give the readers their list of summer reading or
those books they will take to the beach when on holiday.
Now
the first thing to remember when reading any such articles is that they
are all lies. Every critic or A-Z list celeb will tell whoppers when
answering this question. Why? Because nobody wants to admit that they
will only be reading thrillers, romances or, heaven forfend, chick lit
when they are away. If a lofty minded critic from one of the upmarket
papers (usually the Guardian) tells you he is taking Proust or
Tolstoy with him on his sojourn
on the beaches of the Maldives or St Lucia you know he/she has
their fingers crossed behind their back and you are being told a big fat
lie. I mean, come on, who is going to lie on a sun bed anointed with
Factor 30 or whatever, iced drink to hand, trying to look cool and
glamorous and reading A la recherche de Temps Perdu or War and Peace?
When I go on holiday, my criteria for
choosing my books is their total lack of intellectual stimulus to my
little grey cells. Though it has to be well written, I want something I
can wallow in, enjoy and then toss to one side, either in the bin or
leave at the hotel/villa for somebody else to pick up and read. They
have to be paperbacks. No hardbacks on the beach as they are much less
flexible, if you roll over on them while sunbathing you could crack the
spine or tear the dust jacket, paperbacks are more forgiving. Never
take a book with you to the beach that you love and cherish. This is
folly as the chances of getting it covered in sea water, sand and sun
oil are too high and you do not wish to wreck a treasured tome.
No, it has to be disposable reading that goes with you. Books that
you have no relationship with and don't mind waving farewell to as you
head for the airport and your flight home so that, in theory, your suitcase is lighter than when you arrived. This does not always happen of course as I hate parting with books and sometimes lug them back with me, but on the whole I am pretty good at leaving stuff behind in the hotel reception so that there is something there for new arrivals.
There is an etiquette to this by the way. Sometimes I have taken a book or two away with me from the hotel because (a) I read it and want to keep it or (b) didn't have time to finish it and want to do so. Now this is allowable but only if you leave replacements behind. This seems to be an unwritten rule and it is surprising just how many people comply with this though there are always a renegade or two who will be sneaky and just take a volume with no return. But you will be safe and secure in the knowledge that these offenders are lower than the dust beneath one's chariot wheels and that you will never see them again
Note: Apropos of this and going off at a tangent, I was taking a whole pile of books along to the big Book Sale for the NSPCC a week or so ago and when I got to the drop off place in my local supermarket, I spotted six John le Carre novels. Old and tatty and as I have just discovered his total brilliance I really longed for them. I wrestled with my conscience for a few minutes and then brought them home with me. I do feel rather guilty about this but I am smothering these feelings by telling myself that I have, in the past few months, taken about sixty books, all of them new, to the dropping off point so I feel it is a fair exchange. Also, as the sale is not until November I hope to have read them by then and will take them back. I am still slightly dubious about the moral logic of this but hope that Random readers will understand my actions. I hope…
Anyway, back to Beach/Holiday reading. I am not venturing far this summer, I have my trip to Australia planned for next year and have decided just to stay at home and take it quietly and save my pennies. This has not stopped me planning my reading and over the last week or two have read a lot of books which I would categorise as Holiday Reading and which I would have taken with me if I was off to foreign climes. Here they are:
- The Bed I made – Lucy Whitehouse (review of this in next few days)
- The Dogs of Rome – Conor Fitzgerald (review of this in next few days)
- The Siren – Alison Bruce (review of this in next few days)
- Sizzling Sixteen – Janet Evanovich (review of this in next few days)
- Corduroy Mansions – Alexander McCall Smith (no review of this as I am sure by now everyone knows that these books are like – gentle, unassuming and, dare I say it, this was was ever so slightly dull)
- The Good Thief's Guide to Vegas – Chris Ewan (reviewed recently)
- The Arms Make of Berlin – Dan Fesperman (reviewed recently)
- Hunt for the Bear – Derek Haas (reviewed recently)
- Going Home – Harriet Evans (superior chick lit)
- Juliet – Anne Fortier (inferior chick lit)
- Butterfly's Shadow – Lee Langley (great read review of this in next few days)
Ok so we have eleven titles here that I have read over the last week. Bearing in mind that on holiday you have more leisure time and also remembering a lazy week in Turkey last year when I read eighteen books, this is not going to be enough. So check out the bookshops in the airport for the Airport Specials, new books out in large paperback instead of hardback. I always do this and come up with something every time. However, if you don't find anything extra and you have that nasty feeling in the pit of your stomach that you are going to run out and you cannot rely on books in hotel being for you (I have read some dire stuff when I once found myself in this situation), then you should pack a backup book or two. Books that are familiar that you have read dozens of times, but which you would happily turn to again and again. In my case Persuasion and Emma would find a place in my suitcase together with Jane Eyre.
Of course if you are away for two weeks then you really have a problem. Years ago when my then husband and I used to stay in Italy or Spain for this length of time with children, my suitcase could barely be lifted off the ground as it used to be lined with at least 14 books with back up. Looking back now I can understand why my husband used to sometimes get impatient with me….
So off you go and remember all I have said above. To sum up:
- plenty of books for beach and airport
- paperbacks only, preferably not too large or heavy for taking to
beach - nothing precious, only books you don't mind losing (are there any?)
- nothing intellectually stimulating
One final word – Holiday Reading does NOT equal rubbish books or writing. I sometimes feel that books in this category can be dismissed in this way, but a badly written book is no fun either at home or away.
Have a good holiday everyone.
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